Ọ̀rẹ́ mi àtàtà..

Yoruba says, “Ogún ọ̀rẹ́ ò lè ṣe ọ̀rẹ́ fún ogún ọdún.” (Twenty friends cannot remain friends for twenty years.)

If only we knew, right?

But then, what exactly could we have done anyway? That’s one of the most unpredictable parts of life.

Dear friend, how has life been without those inseparable friends you had a few years ago?

One minute, you’re doing life with people you’re convinced will be there forever.

Next minute, we relocate, we change environments, we meet new people, we grow, sometimes, we outgrow and somehow, people who once knew every little detail about your life become strangers with memories.

How does that even happen?

How do we laugh, play, dance, gist till our stomach hurts with some people and years later, we don’t even get to hear from them again?

Ọ̀rẹ́ mi àtàtà (My very dear friend.)

Can we see 5 years from now, maybe 10 and hold no grudges against each other?

Can we remember what we shared and smile before remembering what went wrong?

Can we talk more?

Can we say, “You hurt me,” instead of quietly carrying pain and disappearing?

And yes, I get it. Some friendships won’t be mended. Some people are chapters, not the whole book.

But even then, can we see each other from afar, doing well, living life and still whisper a prayer for each other?

Can we meet again after life has happened, after marriage, after children, and hug each other tightly with tears of joy, not regret?

Maybe twenty friends cannot be friends for twenty years but the memories? The laughter? The love?

Those things can still bring peace even twenty years later.

Dear friend, it’s human to err.

I’m sorry for the wrongs you may have done and the ones I may have done too.

It’s okay to walk away. But the beautiful parts of what we shared can still be held onto.

Ọ̀rẹ́ mi àtàtà, the ones I’m yet to meet. The ones I’ve met and the ones life has made distant.

Thank you.

For the season. For the memories. For the version of me that existed when we found each other.

Let's continually wish each other well. Cheer each other on and be genuinely happy for each other even from afar.

Back story…

Sometime last week, my mum saw an old school friend’s birthday picture on their group page. Immediately she saw him, she grinned so hard and shouted,

“Ọ̀rẹ́ mi àtàtà!”

I don’t know the man. She’s never really talked about him before.

But somehow, I understood that distance may happen, but some friendships never really leave the heart.